


Film Noir

by Madquinn13



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Daydreaming, F/F, F/M, Film Noir, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:28:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23117755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Madquinn13/pseuds/Madquinn13
Summary: Quentin creates a world in which he is the greatest P.I. in his mind and has seen way too many film noir movies.
Relationships: Fen/Eliot Waugh, Kady Orloff-Diaz/Julia Wicker, Margo Hanson/Julia Wicker, Margo Hanson/Julia Wicker/Kady Orloff-Diaz, Marina Andrieski/Julia Wicker, Quentin Coldwater/Alice Quinn, Quentin Coldwater/Eliot Waugh
Kudos: 9





	1. Getting the Case

The wind howled harmonizing with the sound of the rain beating against the glass window. 

I swirl my glass of scotch smirking as the ice clinks against the glass. 

I might be the greatest private eye in the whole city of Breakbills but that was to be expected when one is as charming and handsome as I am. 

I hear the clicking of kitten heels down the hall until the shadow of a small feminine hand knocks on my office’s frosted window. 

Alice. 

My Gal Friday. As smart as she was pretty and was she  _ ever _ smart. 

“Come in.” I call out lighting my cigar. “Got a new case for us Sweetheart?” 

“You know the Gin Joint across town Fillory?” 

“The one that’s run by the bossy dame?”

“That’s the one. Said dame is in some hot water with a troublesome gang. They approached two of her girls to join them.”

“Which ones?”

“The singer and the bossy brain.” 

“Oof those are some tough gals.” The singer had pipes on her like a church organ and the bossy brain, she smoked like a chimney and drank like a fish. She was just supposed to be a waitress but she was considered the second in common. Rumours had it that the owner was sweet on her. 

“They are so when they were approached by the Hedges, to join by choice or by force they told the great destroyer herself and she sent the bartender’s wife to find me.” The bartender wife’s was sent. That is interesting. She seems like a small flighty thing but she had been known to chop a man down. Ms. Hanson only trusted the most important of news or tasks to her. 

“Were either of them harmed?” 

“The singer was cut rather deeply on her arm but she gave worse than she got.”

“And Julia?” As soon as the name was past my lips I cursed myself. Fuck. 

“Julia? Didn’t know you were so close with Ms. Handson’s girl.” Alice was giving me a smug smirk.

“Knew her when we were both little hooligans causing mischief in the streets. Parted ways before she started up with that crowd.” I had to deflect, I couldn’t very well admit that I was the one who introduced Julia to that life, when I was still naive, just a fresh face brat who knew nothing of what was to come. 

“She was beaten some. Nothing I’m sure that hasn’t happened before with the mouth she has.” 

Alice had a point, it wasn’t like Julia had been slapped around for her comments. Last Cat she was sweet on didn’t like her mouth. Her wit. God her wit was sharper than a knife. “Ms. Hanson wants to see you tonight.” 

Of course she wants to see me tonight. She needs to play some game of telephone to ask for my help. I stub out my smoke before standing up and grabbing my hat and coat. 

I’ll take the case. 

_ “Quentin! Quentin are you listening?” Julia yelled past the point of simple annoyance.  _

_ “Yeah sorry. Kind of lost myself in a day dream.” Quentin blushed running a hand through his hair.  _

_ “What should I do?”  _

_ “About?”  _

_ “Kady.” _

_ “Oh. Uh. I don’t know.”  _

_ “So helpful Q. Go back to your Indiana Jones day dream.” _

_ “It’s not that.” He reassured her.  _

_ “Jules! There you are. Wanna go hit a club?” Kady with her wild hair all around her like a halo.  _

_ “Love too.” Julia gave Quentin a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thanks Q. Don’t wait up.”  _

_ “I’ll try not too.” Quentin watched them leave the cottage practically bouncing. He really wished they would just fuck already the tension was getting too thick.  _

I drive fast in my car, switching from lane to lane to avoid having to slow down. If you wanted to ensure as little as rage as possible from Ms. Hanson it was best not to keep her waiting, even those she had taken a shine to were not immune. 

When I finally pull up to the club I stop in front of the door, tossing the key to the valet outside some curly haired nervous looking fellow with a name badge that reads TODD. 

Fuckin’ idiot is more like it from his grin. 

As soon as the door opens I hear the voice of the canary. The sweet siren call. Only a few steps in and I see her on the stage. 80% hair and a voice just as full and wild. It was nice to see that the cut on her arm didn’t mare her beauty, it added to it if anything, she used to have an air of danger, now the scar would prove it. 

“If it isn’t Breakbills biggest Dick.” I hear a sweet voice call from across the room. Eliot. Margo’s right hand man. Her twin in all sense but biological. He placed a cocktail on the bar. “Here. Bambi is busy in her office.”

“I’m here for urgent business.”

“I know but Bambi is busy and won’t be disturbed. After this song you can talk to Kady.” 

“Fine in the meantime I’ll start by questioning Julia.”

“She’s busy and cannot be disturbed.”

“She’s a waitress I’m sure someone else can carry drinks.”

“She’s in the office with Bambi.” Eliot looked so smug. “You can usually hear when they’re free.” 

“So glad I rushed over.” I roll my eyes before taking a sip of the drink. Before he set the glass back on the bar there was shouting from upstairs before a loud pop followed by a man bursting from the frosted office window and onto the dance floor. 

“Friend of yours?” I raise an eyebrow to Eliot. 

…

Margo’s office was something you would have expected a flapper to design her dollhouse like. 

Margo is sitting at her desk the literal smoking gun in front of her. Kady, now done with her set, was sitting on the couch very close to Julia. I sat across from them in what could only be described as a throne. 

“So to start off with, who’s the guy you killed?” I take out my pen and notepad. 

“His name’s Reynard.” Kady explained. “He keeps getting in even though he was banned.”

“How does he get in?” 

“Todd. Reynard keeps pretending to be the other twin, triplet, quad.” Margo sighed and it just made me wonder why she never fired him. 

“Why haven’t you fired him?” 

“The Dean likes him.” Julia shrugged. 

“The Dean?”

“A regular, he spouts prolific advice and one liners when he’s hammered so we started calling him The Dean.” Eliot explained just having entered the office. 

“So Reynard was banned. Why?”

“He wanted services we didn’t offer.” Julia glared at me. 

“That’s it?” 

“He attacked eight waitresses in the lot out back because they denied to give him the  _ lip service _ he wanted.” Margo was blunt. She glanced over to Julia who now had one of Kady’s arms over her shoulders holding her close. 

I wanted to say that if Julia had been one of the waitresses who had been attacked I would have already known but I fear that might not be the case. 

“So he showed up again and you shot him.” I cut to the chase. 

“He barged into my office breaking the lock so I told him to get the fuck out. He didn’t listen, I drew my gun and shot him.” I look over to Julia to see if she is showing signs that this might not be the whole truth. She leans closer in to Kady and I just don’t want to ask why Kady keeps looking back at the gun. 

“I’m not one of the pigs Margo, don’t forget, I don’t give a fuck if you did something illgeal so long as you got the cash.” 

“So go downstairs and help Eliot and Todd get rid of the body. You’ll get a bonus.” Margo fixed me with an icy glare before reaching into her desk and pulling out a wad of cash. “Now go clean up the mess downstairs so we can re-open.” 

I look over at Eliot who doesn’t seem pleased with the idea that he will be stuck with cleaning up the mess while she just gets to chill with her girls. 

“Just make Todd and Colddick clean it up.” 

Margo opened her mouth for some witty retort but stopped short when the office door barged open once again, this time an out of breath Fen was the cause. 

“Are we aware of the dead body on the dance floor?”

“We know.” Eliot sounded slightly bored as he greeted his wife. They were a match I never quite understood. He seemed like he couldn’t care less about her and she seemed like she adored him. 

“And the fact that Todd is passed out by it?” 

“That is a new one.” I point out eyeing Margo. Does she even care about all the damage and chaos she has caused?

“Limp-dicked asshole. Fine. Dick, El, go wake up Todd and make him help. Take the body to the basement for now and toss him in one of the barrels.” 

“I know this is just pointing out the obvious but if this guy has a history of attacking the dames shouldn’t you just leave him where he is and call the pigs?” 

“So they can gets handsy with us? Or arrest us? Pigs don’t give a fuck what happens this far north of town.” Kady pointed out. 

“I’m sure they would care about-” I interject. I know the world is messed up but damn it can’t be that bad just a few blocks.

“They don’t. They come here and want free shit, you give it to them or they knock you around. They act like this is a strip club. Those pigs are just like Reynard.” I listen to Julia as she interrupted me. Fuck did we really fall out of touch so much? How could I have been so in the dark as to how her life was. 

“Could Reynard have been involved with The Hedges?” 

“No. He went to their clubs and did the same shit.” Kady defended. Weird. Why would she be protective of the Hedges? 

“So we take his body and shove him in a barrel.” Margo repeated. “Well I say we. I mean you two.” She looked at me with her icy glare and I swear I felt a chill. 

I head downstairs with Eliot dragging his feet behind me. 

The dance floor is a mess of glass and blood. Reynard landed with a splat and the blood just seemed to explode out of him. The air has a strong metallic taste of metallic. 

I watch Eliot walk over to his bar and grab a bottle of what seems like cheap ass beer. He comes back to the body and pours the beer over Todd giving him a little kick. 

“Wake up you have a body to move!” When Todd does wake up and looks around Eliot just nudges him with his foot. “Go to the basement and grab one of the metal drums.” 

“We’re going to put him in the drum up here?” I look at Eliot confused. 

“Yeah we keep the blood on the dance floor. Otherwise we drag it through the whole club and I just know Todd is going to fuck up cleaning that...maybe we should just cover the whole floor in cement or something. Build a drain in the middle.” 

“Are you planning for this to happen often?” I don’t know why I’m even asking. It’s none of my business. It involves Julia though and I use that to justify it to myself. 

I crouch down on my haunches near the body examining it as best as I can. 

He was shot once, dead center in the chest. Margo shot to kill. 

I see a clump of hair in his hand. I unclench his hand to get a better look and frown. The hair doesn’t match Margo’s. It is more wavy and a touch darker. It was Julia’s. 

Reynard didn’t attack Margo in her office. He attacked Julia. 

I stare down into the empty open eyes of this man, monster. I wished he wasn’t dead, I wish that I could inflict more pain on him so he could suffer. 

How dare he attack Julia? 

I wish I could smash his knees. Stomp out his balls.

Who the fuck does he think he is that he attacks Julia? Julia the sweet girl in school who was friends with everyone? Julia who was kind to the wineos in the street. 

This fucker. 

I’m pulled from the thoughts of rage by Todd dragging the metal drum across the floor. 

“Are you trying to scratch the floor? Pick it the fuck up!” Eliot yelled. I look up towards the office’s broken window and see Julia sitting on Margo’s desk, smiling. 

“It’s heavy!” Todd whined and I am surprised that a heel doesn’t come flying down to stab him from the office. 

“Q, be a dear and go out back to the handyman’s closet. Get a crowbar...and an axe.” 

“We’re chopping him up?” 

“Only if he won’t fit whole.” 

I head down out back to the back of the club. 

“So it’s pretty bad now huh?” I hear from the left and I turn to see a shortish man standing near the kitchen. He must be the cook judging by his outfit. “The Hedges attacked?” 

“No, it was Reynard.”

“Is Julia okay?” 

“Why would you ask that? I heard he went after all the waitresses, you sweet on her?” 

“No, just, she seemed to be his favorite. I mean everyone knows better than to be sweet on Julia. Margo isn’t one to be crossed and she gets possessive.” 

“You don’t mind working for a dame like Margo?” 

“I mean it would be great if she was a bit nicer but that’s not who she is.”

“No it isn’t.” Anyone could tell the best way to see who Margo hated or liked was down to how she spoke to them, the less venom in an insult meant she liked them. 

“Julia seems fine. She was in Margo’s office with her when Reynard barged in. Margo shot him and he fell out of the window onto the dance floor.” 

“Reynard is dead? Good. You’re sure about that?” 

“Yeah I’m sure.” His body is still on the dance floor if you want to see for yourself.” 

“No, no that’s okay.” 

I just nod and continue on my quest to find the handyman closet. 

I find it eventually at the very end of the hall. I grab the crowbar and axe, I’m not sure why there would be a need for an axe in a dance club but whatever. 

When I returned to the dance floor Todd had brought the barrel next to Reynard. 

I hold out the axe to Eliot who takes it reluctantly as I use the crowbar to open the drum flinching as the lid clangd to the ground. I look down and see the drum is filled with some liquid. 

“This drum is already full.” I glare at Todd. 

“Yeah we don’t keep empty ones around.” 

“And you didn’t think to tell me it was full and needed to be empty before I opened it in the middle of the dance floor?” I take a small sniff to see if I can identify the liquid and gag. “Is this fucking amoina?” 

“I guess.” Todd shrugged. 

“Fucking Todd.” I groan. “Deal with this shit.” 

I pick up the axe and sigh. Might as well get started to get this shit over with. 

_ “Quentin we need to talk.” Eliot had flopped down on the couch next to Quentin.  _

_ “What about El?” _

_ “You’ve been off in your own little world too much lately. I get it. You feel like your best friend abandoned you to get laid and I mean she kind of has, but this can’t be the first time.”  _

_ “I’m used to Julia dating people. We used to live together remember?”  _

_ “Right. So you’re used to hearing her and her  _ friends _?”  _

_ “Yeah.”  _

_ “She was always with that Ken doll right?” _

_ “James? Kinda.” _

_ “Bookworm! Get your tight ass up here!” Margo shouted from upstairs. Neither Quentin nor Eliot spoke up to let her know that Julia was out with Kady. Soon Margo dressed some in very nice lingerie that made Eliot give her a wolf whistle and applause. “Where the fuck is Wicker she’s always here!”  _

_ “She went out clubbing with Kady.”  _

_ “Fine I’ll call Jasmine.”  _

_ “Great the obnoxious one.” _

_ “She’s not that bad. Besides she’s half as obnoxious as Julia is.”  _

_ “Yeah but Julia shuts up when you’re fucking her.” Eliot pointed out. “Jasmine never shuts up.”  _


	2. Clean Up

Cleaning a floor with a barrel full of ammonia was not the smartest thing we did. 

I admit that. 

After chopping up the body of Reynard (with Eliot watching) the dance floor was covered in blood. Todd. The fucking idiot thought it would be smart to just dump a bunch of the ammonia on the floor which caused my eyes and throat to burn. 

With the body now in pieces and Todd having caused this mess to get worse I said fuck it and followed Eliot up the stairs. 

We only made it halfway up before we ran into the gals making their way downstairs. 

“You couldn’t give us a little warning before the mustard gas?” Margo looked pissed and I was glad I was behind Eliot so he was a shield against her wrath. 

“Todd opened a barrel full of ammonia. It wasn’t ideal for anyone. Are we going to the cottage?”

“No. I’m taking Colddick with me. You are taking Jules home to Whitespire.” 

“Where are we going?”

“To deal with the job you were hired for.” Margo glared at him. “El, take Coldwater with you to get the cars.” Eliot sighs and mutters on needing more Todds.

“The whole dance floor is toxic right now we’re better off taking the private elevator.” 

...

I was surprised when I pulled up to the backdoor to see Kady waiting with Margo. Eliot’s car wasn’t blocked in like mine (Todd in his infinite wisdom always had Margo and Eliot’s cars unblocked. I wish I could have seen Julia off, make sure she was okay. 

“You’re coming too?” I asked Kady. 

“She’s coming.” Margo answered for them. 

I nod expecting nothing different from them. “Alright get in.” 

Kady tells me the address to a warehouse and off I drive.

In the back seat I can make out what they are muttering. 

“Marina is expecting us. I told her that you wanted a meeting to discuss the Reynard problem.” 

“She doesn’t know that he’s dead?”

“No I never told her. She is promising her people protection from him and others like him. But we both know that she can’t do that.”

“No she can’t. Money can only keep the pigs at bay for so long.” Margo muttered. I glance at them in the rearview mirror. Was the small amount of power worth all the trouble they had? 

“Most of them think that she is their only option. They don’t have the connections to know about their options.”

“I’m more than willing to let Marina have her little fun so long as she leaves me and mine alone. I don’t want her followers.”

“Just remember she loves thinking she has power over people. Play the mind games with her to get her off guard.” 

“She tried to recruit you before didn’t she?” 

“Many times. But it doesn’t matter.” 

I pull up in front of the warehouse. “This is it.”

“You’re packing bean shooters right?” Margo snarks at me as she leans forward. 

“Just the gat I keep on me.” 

“Fuck sakes. Kady tell me you’re packing.”

“Just two smalls ones I always have.”

“Good enough.” I catch Margo pulling out her own checking it over to make sure it was suitable. “I don’t want to have to use these but no hesitation capiche?” 

What the fuck did I get myself into?

_ The Cottage door swung open with a bang, Kady’s hand still on the knob as her back was pressed against it with Julia’s arms around her neck and her mouth on Kady’s. It caused enough noise for Quentin to get distracted from his thought and watched as they stumbled in. It didn’t seem like they were drunk, at least not from drink. Quentin meant to cough, clear his throat, something, anything to point out that they were not alone. Hell even Todd was in the living room trying to mix up new cocktails and he was content to stay invisible to the women close to dry humping on the front door.  _

_ “You sure you don’t want to go again? I mean I’m willing to keep going until we fall asleep.” Jasmine’s annoying voice was heard coming down the hallway that led to Margo’s room. _

_ “Positive.” Margo even sounded annoyed. Quentin grabbed his book from the coffee table and used it as a way to make it seem like he was sucked in completely and oblivious to what was around him.  _

_ He heard Kady groan slightly.  _

_ “Hey Jasmine.” Julia had only met Jasmine a few times and most of them involved either Jasmine trying to bang Margo or at one of the many cottage parties that had happened since Eliot was kicked from Fillory.  _

_ “Julia. Kady.” Jasmine gave them each a curt nod before pushing past them and out of the cottage.  _

_ “You have a good time?” Julia casually asked Margo.  _

_ “I did. Did you two?”  _

_ “Yeah, we found this new techno club. It was basically a rave without worrying about the cops breaking it up.”  _

_ “That is half the fun though.”  _

_ “Raves are just annoying when you’re sober. But Jules still made it fun.” Kady pointed out with a grin. “I think I’m going to need her for all my future raves.”  _

_ “I’m in just so long as you promise to dance like that again.” Julia smiled.  _

_ “Deal. See you in the morning Margo.” Kady smirked her hand in Julia’s back pocket leading her towards the stairs.  _

_ Quentin looked up from his book at Margo.  _

_ “You can’t get jealous when you keep saying its just fun and sex.”  _

_ “I’ll take your advice when you can get laid more than once a year.” Margo scoffed at him before heading back to her room. She needed El. He understood how possessive and uncaring she was.  _

Everything went to hell. 

The discussion turned into a screaming match. Shots were fired and here I was parked by a phone booth as Margo called Eliot to warn him about Kady’s double-cross. 

Who knew her mother was one of Marna’s followers. 

I was surprised when Marina revealed it, the fact that Margo didn’t shoot Kady dead I was floored. 

“I don’t care if you think it’s extreme, tell the guards to shoot her on sight, she was already warned.” I overhear Margo on the phone. 

Julia and Kady seemed close, I hope Julia wasn’t involved. 

I’m so in my own head I don’t hear the car door open and I jump when Margo returns to the passenger seat. 

“You know where Whitespire is?” 

Of course, I know where Whitespire is. Everyone knows. It’s the largest building in the whole fucking city. It used to be some political family dynasty’s house. It was like ten family lots put together. No one knew how it went from the family to Margo but no one questioned it. She had the property levelled and Whitespire built. It was like an American castle complete with fucking turrets. 

Due to the city traffic it takes twenty minutes to get to the property. The large ornate metal gate opens automatically as we drive up to them. Two guard booths are on either side of the gate with two armed men in each. The drive to the actual building is another five minutes. Not a car is in the drive and I am a bit surprised to see a man waiting by the front door. As soon as I come to a stop he is by Margo’s door opening it for her and offering a hand. Once she is out of the car he walks over to my side opening my door. 

“I’ll park it for you sir.” 

“Thanks.” I don’t want it to show that this is the first time this has happened at a private residence that I have been too, well, if you could call Whitespire a private residence. 

I follow Margo up the marble front steps where of course someone opens the door for her before she needs to raise a hand to knock. 

The foyer was blinding. The white marble from the steps had formed the walls and floor of the foyer. A rug which he assumed was some rare and endangered animal was under his feet. A young man, maybe fifteen took Margo’s coat off her and disappeared down a hallway. 

A different teen came by and took Quentin’s coat and hat. 

“Somebody better tell me nothing went to shit while I was out!” I can’t help but flinch when she yells out. 

“Relax I had everything handled here.” Eliot seems to come out of nowhere holding a martini which Margo eagerly accepted. “I already updated Julia.”

“And?”

“Nothing a mickey in her whiskey couldn’t fix. Don’t worry she made it safe to her bed. Fen is checking on her to make sure she doesn’t choke on her tongue.” 

“I don’t pay Fen enough.” 

“You don’t pay her at all.”

“I really don’t pay her enough then.” I watch Margo finish her drink before turning to look at me. “Colddick call your gal. Tell her to bring whatever you need from your office. Until this shit is over no one leaves the property.” 

“Yeah, I’ll call her.” I head down the direction where Eliot pointed the nearest phone was and when I turn the corner I pause when I hear Margo’s voice sounding very unsure and not at all like her. 

“How to Julia react to the news? Was she shocked? Do you think she knew? Do you think she was working with Kady?” 

“She was heading towards full hysteria so if it was an act she’s good.” Hearing Eliot trying to reassure Margo was jarring. 

“Show Colddick one of the spare rooms he can set up an office and where he’ll be sleeping.”

“I got everything under control, go check on Julia.” 

I find the telephone and call Alice asking her to pack her car with everything he would need from the office and to grab him some clothes from his home. 

I find Eliot waiting for me by the entrance still. 

“No Margo?” I ask trying to cover up that I had eavesdropped. 

“Bambi has work to do herself. I’ll show you where you can stay and when your help comes I’ll get someone to bring you to where you can set up an office.” 

_ Quentin felt a tug at his hair and it broke him from his daydream.  _

_ “What are you doing?”  _

_ “Putting your hair in a man-bun.” Eliot responded as if that was the most obvious thing to do.  _

_ “Why?”  _

_ “Bored.” _

_ “So go play with Margo’s hair.” _

_ “She’s being insufferable right now. She put her toy down and now someone else is playing with it.”  _

_ “...did you seriously just refer to Julia as a toy?” _

_ “Mhmm. Everyone to a degree is a plaything Quentin. Just fact.”  _

_ “That’s fucked up.” _

_ “As is life.” _

“ _ Do you ever think you it would be fun to live in a decade from the past?”  _

_ “I mean the eighties sound fun. Big club scene. Has its downsides though.” _

_ “I used to wish I was in the early forties.”  _

_ Eliot let go of Quentin’s hair to properly question him with a look.  _

_ “Are you fucking kidding me?”  _

_ “Great novels and movies came out that time. I could have been Indiana Jones.” _

_ “You would have been drafted for one of the wars and been shot. Or you would have been caught up in one of the many race riots or marches and get shot. Don’t be a fucking idiot. Yes this time we live in is shit but the ones before were shitter.”  _

_ “I know, I just think it would be cool to be one of those gritter P.Is in Film Noir genres.” _

_ “You have a fedora don’t you?”  _

_ “It was for a costume.”  _

_ “Uh-huh.” _


End file.
